So. I got called to work for a "bring-back" the other night. A bring-back is a procedure done on a patient (usually open heart) when their condition indicates that there may be excessive bleeding or sudden clotting of a graft and they would benefit from a re-exploration of the chest. It is usually a quick procedure involving re-opening the sternum, removing a bunch of clots or cauterizing the underside of the ribcage where the sternal wires go inbetween the ribs and around the sternum.
I had scrubbed for this case earlier in the day, and when I came in to the lounge on my way to the dressing room, the surgeon told me that this would be a real quick case, just a pacer wire exchange. Apparently the patient (who had artery bypasses and a mitral valve repair) was not benefitting from the temporary pacing wires that had been placed earlier and was experiencing low blood pressure and erratic rhythm.
We get in there and do a minimal opening, just enough to see the old wire and poke in a new one, and the patient is just not responding-poor rhythm, low pressure.
"FUCK!" shouts the surgeon. This is not unusual for this surgeon, who is of, um, mediterranean descent by way of, um, New York, I think, and, at any rate, is rather loud and boisterous on most good days and here it was midnight-thirty and he'd done a full day's work and had another to go. "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKER!".
"WHAT THE FUCK" said the anestheologist.
"DOUBLE FUCK" I said.
And the patient got better.
And we all felt better.